I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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