bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
