but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
