I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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