so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
