dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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