Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
