Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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