my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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