i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
