True but thats because hes a fetus.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
