i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
