clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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