so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
