Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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