CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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