Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
