just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
