I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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