Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
