***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
