Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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