How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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