i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
