Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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