I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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