I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
