did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
