It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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