5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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