My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
there is puke in my bra ... again
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
