Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
