When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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