me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
