Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
