Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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