you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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