out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
