Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
