matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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