Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
