I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
