Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
