Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
