My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
