i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
