Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Im part way to drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
