sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
