WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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