Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
