Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
