And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You need Xanax blowdarts
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
