why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
