There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
