just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
